I’m going to talk a little about the importance of having a start and end time when it pertains to your job. Now for many of my mom’s I’m sure you are saying, what’s that? Well let me explain myself a little more. Typically I’ve gotten up gone to work and started my work day then I take my allotted breaks and then I’ll clock out for the day. I would complain about how hard it is to get up in the morning. Then about the stressors throughout the day. Lastly why I couldn’t leave early so I can just go home and relax and get something to eat for dinner.
Well where my start or end time when I’m a stay at home mom/parent? Who is requiring me to take a scheduled break? When do I get to leave my work where it is so I can go home and rest? The answer to all of the above questions are you don’t. Now this is not because you can’t, it’s because most stay at home moms/parents don’t even know what this looks like.
For myself it started with the understanding that I cannot “ALWAYS” be available. This means always being the one to address a situation between my kids. Having to change every stinky dipper. Giving up power and allowing another capable human being be the partner and parent I know them to be in this world of parenthood. Many moms get in this I can do it all let me save the world mindset. However they forget to take care of themselves in order to take care of those they love.
I myself didn’t even realize when I feel into that cycle of “Superwoman” and had to take a step back before I got burnt out. So I gave myself a start and end time to my day. Scheduled breaks and scheduled vacation time, I even threw in some sick days. What that entailed was letting my husband know when I needed him to take over. When to elicit help from other family members and friends and going into my office to work.
Now I know this is not the case for everyone. However everyone can still set time for self and that is what this really is about. Taking a step back and treating yourself as if you are in a courtship. Find the person you once knew and want to continue to know and date them. Find needed time to get to know yourself. So I know in the mornings I like to take some time to pray and meditate on what I need to get done in my day. I set my alarm to get up before the average time I know my kids would get up. Then I incorporate activities to keep them active so I can take my breaks at my desired time. Next I allow myself not to worry about what I didn’t do and how tired my husband may be from work. When he tells me “do you want to go out and have some time to yourself?” He wouldn’t ask if he was worn out and I shouldn’t neglect myself by not taking it.
For my single parents I understand this may seem difficult to de especially if you have young kids. However your alone time can come after the kids are sleeping or when you obtain a babysitter. It’s more than just going and doing something fun for yourself. It’s allowing yourself to see that you care about your personal wellbeing.
So moms find your time to give yourself a start and end to the role of “Parent” and a start and end to the role of “Self” If you do not see the importance in your wellbeing who else will?
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Till the next time.
Live, Laugh, Love
T.P.C (The Parent Counselor)
Gail Wilson is a Therapist, Life Coach and Public Speaker in South Florida. Mrs. Wilson works with mothers dealing with postpartum and fathers who have difficulty with transitional changes after a new child. In addition Mrs. Wilson works with individuals, couples and families to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts. To schedule an appointment with Mrs. Wilson call (754) 999-0410 or contact by email at Gail@mgscounseling.com